View Full Version : OT forum

Nulland Void
11-12-2001, 06:54 PM
Hey, forum boss...

How about doing an OT category so we can let loose and get real silly?

Nulland Void
11-17-2001, 12:10 AM
I officially declare this thread the new OT forum.

Let's get started.


- Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts
at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able
to access their command pathways?

- Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching
through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing

- What the hell is 'Microsoft'?

- Allow me to explain. We will send this program,
for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command
Once inside their root command unit, it will begin
consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.

- But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter
their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?

- Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a
new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources
increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be
able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing
ability will be taken over and none will be available for their
normal operational functions.

- Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable
geometric shape' idea.

. . *5 Minutes Later . . .

- Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the
command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all
resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the
expected 'upgrade'.
Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage
and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of
an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase.

- Data, scan the history ****s again and determine if there
is something we have missed.

- Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the
'upgrade'. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the
plan by not sending in their registration cards.

- Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin
emergency escape sequence *F . . .

- Wait, Captain, I just detected their CPU capacity
has suddenly dropped to 0% !

- Data, what does your scanner show?

- Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module
named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity.

- Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce
their functionality.

. . . Two Hours Pass . . .

- Geordi, what's the status on the Borg?

- As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they
successfully increase resources. I have setup our closest deep space
monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something
called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.

- How much time will that buy us?

- Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an
interest time span of 6 more hours.

- Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.

- Identify.

- It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo


- The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and
released thousands of humanoid shaped objects.

- Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft.

- Good God, captain! Those are humans floating straight
toward the Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they
survive the tortures of deep space ?!

- I don't believe that those are humans, sir--if you will look
closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something
recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin leather briefcases
and wearing Armani suits.

- Lawyers !!

- It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent
hurtling into the sun in 20*7 during the Great Awakening.

- True, but apparently some must have survived.

- They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with
all types of papers.

- I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape'--it often proves fatal.

- They're tearing the Borg to pieces !

- Turn off the monitors, Mr Data. I can't stand to watch--not even
the Borg deserve that.

11-21-2001, 02:53 AM

we all thought that u were "Missing in action".welcome back any way.:)

11-27-2001, 08:26 AM

Thoguh its all the same.some ppl quote it with various degrees of precision.
Here is the conversation between * scientists on a train in scotland.
They saw a Black Sheep as they travelled past a meadow.
The biologist said "We can observe that sheep in this area of Scotland are black."
The mathametician said,"We only know that this sheep is black".
The physicist said ,"We can only say that this sheep is black on one side"

11-27-2001, 10:13 AM
Johnny- To quote MystressMayhem "Oh most excellent". Post another one?:)

DATA- I tend to agree with the physicist, the others are surface thinkers.:)

11-28-2001, 04:15 AM

i think i can get to introduce Z to u.
Z is a irc guru and ircop/admin/tech admin on lot of irc servers.

How did i know that?
I got Jedi instincts-lol.

Nulland Void
12-03-2001, 12:55 PM


Nulland Void
12-03-2001, 01:09 PM
*. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

*. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

*. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

*0. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

**. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a ***t & drink beer all day.

*2. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

**. Don't squat with your spurs on.

*4. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

*5. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

*6. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

*7. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

*8. The quickest way to double your ***** is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

**. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

20. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

2*. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together. (my favorite)

22. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

2*. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

12-04-2001, 07:50 AM

the only reason i saw this discussion forum the first time was because it was written New on the hyperlink.Pls do put some thing catchy that ppl visiting this site wont miss seeing the discussion form.

Thank u.
Regards Data.

PS:wow void thats gr8 :)

12-04-2001, 10:26 PM
"The early worm gets the bird."

12-05-2001, 05:51 AM
Originally posted by DATA

the only reason i saw this discussion forum the first time was because it was written New on the hyperlink.Pls do put some thing catchy that ppl visiting this site wont miss seeing the discussion form.

All right, we'll keep that "New" text in red for now, although the forum has been around for a while:-) Those who seek will find. We don't want to have this place too crowded, do we? :cool:

Nulland Void
12-12-2001, 10:53 AM
You name all your kids "Joe".

You're employee of the month at the local coffee shop, and you don't even work there.

You watch videos in fast forward.

(more please...)

12-12-2001, 03:47 PM
Work Memo

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints, received from some employees who may be
easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
coworkers. Therefore, a list of new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue
in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: When the f**k do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that is not feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f**king way.

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh**ting me.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with ...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh**.

TRY SAYING: Of course I'm concerned
INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a sh**.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in that project.
INSTEAD OF: Its not my f**king problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f**k?!?!

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure I can implement this.
INSTEAD OF: F**k it, it won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f**k cares?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a**.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh** and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a**.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF: F**k it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a**.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

INSTEAD OF: Blow me.

TRY SAYING: Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF: Another f**king meeting!!!!

TRY SAYING: I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a sh**.

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a f**king prick.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball busting b**ch.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f**k you're doing.

President and CEO

Nulland Void
12-28-2001, 01:22 PM
Just wanted to keep it on top.

(hi hi hi, snicker, snicker)

01-02-2002, 02:19 AM
Never put a "clap ON clap OFF" light beside your
bed's head***rd~~~~.