How To Be An Ub3r h4x0r

[DANIEL2488]

The first thing you need is the following:

1) UNIX (because anything cool done with computers and hacking MUST be done with UNIX. If you use Windows you will never get anything accomplished because you will not be enough of an uber hax0r, therefore you must use something that has relatively shitty support from most industries.).

2) The UNIX beard (because you can't possibly be leet if you can't step up to the Stallman, Ritchie, Kernighan, or Thompson's beards. This is an absolute must)

3) It's recommended that you live in a basement - preferrably in your parent(s)'(s) house.

4) You MUST have Mountain Dew (Jolt or Vault is good - Jolt probably better than both, but I live in NY so I wouldn't know).

5) You MUST have a LOT of Doritos and Hot Pockets (You no hungry fo' hacking - YOU HUNGRY FO' HOT POCKET!!)

6) You MUST have experience with C++ or Perl because a sufficient program could NEVER be written in Visual Basic, Ruby, or even *spits in disgust* Python.

7) You can't have a sense of humor. If you're laughing at anything remotely related to this, give up. You have to get angry whenever someone makes a joke out of something or else no one will ever take you seriously.

8) Download Wine and emulate Microsoft Telnet with it. There, you're a hacker.

Tell me if thise works.

[W4nder]

You forgot a couple of steps....

9) You must tell Everybody to google everything....even if you don't. (Easiest way to do this is to put it in your signature)

10) Flame Flame and Flame some more....especially if somebody might know something you don't

11) Always be sure to replace as many letters with numbers as you possibly can when posting in forums

[DANIEL2488]

You're right, but we both forgot:

12) Learn REALLY cryptic, maybe shitty, programming languages and/or languages that nobody uses anymore like APL, Perl, Pascal (ehh, not so much), Object C, Smalltalk, awk, sed, BUT NOT BRAINFUCK, BECAUSE BRAINFUCK CAN NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY - AND IF YOU DO, MAKE SURE TO BACK YOUR POINT UP WITH A BRAINFUCK PROGRAM WITH A GUI.

13) Remember, you are right. Anyone who disagrees with you or doesn't use the same tools as you is a "fucking nublet script kiddie wannabe" and should gtfo your internets.

[W4nder]

one more....

14) Remember, the only tools more important then Google are Copy and Paste - without them we'd not have half the number of tutorials that are out there today.

[Ezekiel]

4) You MUST have Mountain Dew (Jolt or Vault is good - Jolt probably better than both, but I live in NY so I wouldn't know).


"Jolt Cola: The soft drink of the elite hacker."

[W4nder]

I havn't had a Jolt since Red Bull became available....does that mean I'll always be a newbie?

[ray02945]

vault and monters own

[Moonbat]

1. Don't use public exploits, ever
2. Defacing != Hacking
3. Learn PHP, HTML, Perl, and one software language (VB, C++, etc.)
4. Don't even use the word 'hacker' until you've rooted a box (and patched whatever vulnerability it had that let you get in)
5. No Windows
6. Don't use trojans/keyloggers
7. Don't brag. Someone has hacked something bigger and harder than you have already

These are lessons I picked up surfing around big-name hacking forums.

[DANIEL2488]

I think that Moonbat's starting to show signs of an ub3r h4x0r - step #7

jk Moonbat;)

Just kidding - but seriously, I don't see why there's such a resentment towards Windows. I mean, you realize that something such as a total conversion to Free Software would deal a major blow to the economy at this point, right? It would put developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, and MORE developers out of jobs.

[Ezekiel]

For the uninitiated: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE

I'm not sure whether to take this thread seriously, but my opinion is that it doesn't matter which OS you use. I use open-source mostly, but I'm not a communist who thinks all software should be free -- I would want to be paid if I was a professional programmer. That doesn't mean I won't pirate software though; I just understand that there needs to be people to pay programmers... even if I'm not one of them.

[DANIEL2488]

Well, the thing is that I have a pirated copy of Photoshop. It lags down my computer and to actually buy it, it's not cheap. Therefore, I use something called Paint.NET. It's a great tool that's actually faster than Photoshop much of the time, is loaded with many great features and is open source.

So I think that if something is incredibly overpriced (Adobe Studio, Visual Studio, or Expression Studio), one should attempt to look for free or open-source alternatives - but if you can afford to wipe your ass with $20 bills, I'd say to try to support businesses. I also like the idea of Visual Studio Express, as it's there for either learning, sampling, or fun, though I don't use it since it's not as lightweight as Dev-C++.

Additionally, the more that people start to use Linux, the smarter they get. The smarter they get, the less demand there is for IT guys and/or programmers, as the market gets saturated with people who specialize in computers. WE MUST KEEP THEM IN THE DARK!

[Ezekiel]

*quietly closes 180gb warez folder*

<_<

>_>

...but as I said, I mostly use open-source. I'm running Amarok right now for music, VLC, for video/pron watching, gFTP for website admin, Azureus for torrenting, Firefox for browsing, Rosegarden for music-making, gedit for text-editing, OpenOffice for word-processing, Audacity for audio-editing, GAIM for IMing, GIMP for image-editing, Thunderbird for mail, IRSSI for IRC, my entire OS (Ubuntu) -- the list is too long to mention.

The problem with open-source is that you need to be be knowledgeable to use it [perhaps not a problem] and often things are incomplete and obscure. I had to dig around a site straight from the 90s for some soundfonts and do too much tweaking just because I wanted to try a music sequencing/notation program. Then it turned out to be shit, because it used 99% CPU.

With open-source, you're expected to a programmer a lot of the time.

I do download music/movies/porn/ebooks for free though. Firstly I don't have much of an income to spend on extortionate fees (not an excuse), but mostly it's because I see it as a victimless crime. They're not entitled to X profits from me over the course of my life. Maybe I'll rethink my ways when I'm older and more responsible.

[DANIEL2488]

Hehehe . . . lesse what I got for warez:

Guitar Pro 5
VMWare
Dreamweaver
Photoshop
Microsoft Office 2000 (I lost my original CD Key for Office 2002 after my hard disk's file system became corrupt, so it's more than justified)
Symantec Corporate Antivirus (Too lazy to get a better version)
Red Faction

Hmm, that seems like everything . . . unless porn counts as warez? Nah. That makes no sense. I sure did embarrass myself with this list though.

[Ezekiel]

Isn't VMware open-source? I've got it for free, and I use it for Windows programming (well, mostly annoying/pointless programs for noobs).

I was classifying all my freely-obtained content as warez, so if I were to narrow it down:

http://img489.imageshack.us/img489/8338/screenshot2mn3.png (http://imageshack.us)

The benefits of having your own computer with strong BIOS and login passwords is that you can have folders simply named "porn".

I just noticed that it's Monday here now.

Edit: and I've got a whole cd wallet thing with more 'content' in it, though it's more the size of a briefcase than a wallet.

[DANIEL2488]

LOL

One of the benefits of living in non-computer savvy household is that I can have porn in any folder I want. A while ago, I was really scared about being found out, so I password protected my name and made a hidden folder named SERVER_CONFIG. Now I don't really give a shit, leave it in whatever folder Ares downloads it to.

Oh, and there's always a really good site. If you want it, PM me.

[Moonbat]

I <3 my Windoze box :D

I'm not anti-Linux nor anti-Windows, but I've seen many skiddies who use Linux because they think it makes them more of a hacker, when it really doesn't. I can do just as good in a Windows box as I can in a Linux box (except in WEP wireless cracking, Linux > Windows there).

[JayT]

I <3 my Windoze box :D

I'm not anti-Linux nor anti-Windows, but I've seen many skiddies who use Linux because they think it makes them more of a hacker, when it really doesn't. I can do just as good in a Windows box as I can in a Linux box (except in WEP wireless cracking, Linux > Windows there).


Why not use both?

Use a dual OS system and boot up in LINUX or Windows, whichever best suits your immediate needs.

The best of both worlds!

Why settle for either/or when you could easily have both?

When Microsoft servers were attacked - they switched to LINUX.



The only thing that is really important is that your computer does whatever tasks you want. If it does that OK, then it doesn't matter which OS you use - only that you are happy with what your computer does for you.

:)

Windows won't do the dishes any better than LINUX.

[Ezekiel]

Dual-booting FTW. I mostly use Linux though, since Vista just loads...

and loads...

and loads...

and loads...

After booting, there's always some stupid update to install (after which you need to restart), or it simply feels like indexing my whole hard disk every day for searching.

I know I could probably tweak Vista to perform better. The truth is, I prefer Linux and I have no reason to use Windows. I've kept it as a backup in case I need to use MS-proprietary stuff, but I may soon delete its partition.