The SPAM Solution

[JayT]

Here's how to convince the government to deal with spam!

Start an Internet movement to urge all citizens everywhere on earth, fed up with spam, to forward ALL their unwanted spam to their congressional/parliamentary/tribal representative's email addresses (automatically, wherever possible).

Many governments have said that they are trying to find a solution to spam, but now we can show them that they don't need to bother anymore because we've done our part and already found a solution.

Imagine one full day of that on an international scale!

The Day the Government Stood Still, and not just because it's business as usual!

A year or two would be much better.



Now I'll probably get arrested for promoting cyber-terrorism!


Wait! Who are those heavily armed, black-hooded men kicking in my front door at 3 AM ... ?

Oh my God! They woke up the hamster! Boy, are they gonna be sorry!

LOL

[SyntaXmasteR]

Unfortunately that is how our wonderful anarchy... oops did I say anarchy I meant democracy works. Nothing gets done unless you make them deal with their own shit.

MY OWN RAMBLINGS:
There is a 4 way stop near my humble abode. Yes a 4 way stop. These should be illegal. It's like those AOL commercials with monkeys running everything! Well by 5:30 the line is stretch for half a mile down the road. Can you image waiting at a top sign for half a mile!?

I am about to post the mailing/email/phone of the people responsible for getting this fixed on a huge sign on all sides of the 4 way. "CONTACT (x) TO PUT A LIGHT HERE!". It has been 5 years or this insane traffic and nothing has been done! Do you think this will speed up the process?

[Ezekiel]

Ever get annoying junk mail from banks (e.g. "do you want a loan?")? Well, gather up all the other unwanted shit you've received in the mail, add some heavy objects to the pile (coins, perhaps), then put it all in the prepaid reply envelope they usually give you. Send it back to them.

Many people have done that before (I don't claim invention), but it should sufficiently piss them off to end your daily influx of loan offers.

Ah, here's where I last heard of this:

http://bash.org/?127039

I think Maddox covered this as well.

Just be creative, and we can beat the spam problem both on the internet and in real life!

[SyntaXmasteR]

Ever get annoying junk mail from banks (e.g. "do you want a loan?")? Well, gather up all the other unwanted shit you've received in the mail, add some heavy objects to the pile (coins, perhaps), then put it all in the prepaid reply envelope they usually give you. Send it back to them.


Ohhh Yeah, I've heard about that one and put it into practice.


Why coins? Throw in a few dead animal parts.

[Ezekiel]

Ohhh Yeah, I've heard about that one and put it into practice.

Nice work. I encourage all other readers to follow his lead.


Why coins? Throw in a few dead animal parts.

I think the bones would be heaviest and most suitable.


There's so much room for exploitation when organisations [that you dislike] let you send them mail.

For example, I heard about this really right-wing political party in the UK. Basically, they hate the concept of freedom and want us all to be good Christians going to church every Sunday.

Well, I had the idea of sending them a bottle of wine, compliments of [one of my aliases], and including a lengthy letter saying "I agree with your moral opinions so much!". Except the wine will be laced with viagra.

Try making public appearances to spread your propaganda after drinking that!

Further investigation reveals that sildenafil citrate is indeed soluble in water (3.5mg/mL), and probably even more so in ethanol (my chemistry knowledge is lacking though). So ten millilitres of my beverage would be a low-end dose, if it was saturated with viagra. I guess it would have to be calibrated depending on how much wine people usually drink.

I haven't done this, by the way. I just thought it would be a more original (and funny) alternative to the standard disgusting-crap-in-a-box trick.

[SyntaXmasteR]

Russias would reward this behavior:
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSGOR25122620070912

[Moonbat]

Dead animal bones? No way!

Put in a puppy (still live, mind you) and superglue the letter shut, heat it up in the microwave for a minute or two, let it sit for a few hours, then mail it. :D

[SyntaXmasteR]

Dead animal bones? No way!

Put in a puppy (still live, mind you) and superglue the letter shut, heat it up in the microwave for a minute or two, let it sit for a few hours, then mail it.


Damn dude, how big are your credit card spamvelopes?

[Moonbat]

Damn dude, how big are your credit card spamvelopes?

Just cut off the legs and cauterize the wounds so they shut and don't bleed. Duct-tape the mouth shut. Cut off tail. Trust me, I can fit a small puppy into an envelope (it will budge out of course, but who cares).

[Ezekiel]

Russias would reward this behavior:
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSGOR25122620070912

Evidently my package made it through Russian customs then ;).

Another trick I think would be awesome would be to send an envelope containing a letter saying whatever to someone hated, then at the bottom:

P.S.: This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
P.P.S.: No really, lol, it will.

When the letter is pulled from the envelope, it would trigger a PIC-based device that counts down from, say, 60 seconds (however long it should take them to read the letter), then ignites the explosives to produce a nice bang and burn the envelope, but not hurt anyone.

The device could be triggered by the letter pulling a thin piece of plastic that was separating one of those small, circular [li-ion, I think] batteries from connectors on the PCB. When the letter is pulled out, the device receives power and begins to count down.

You could use this to 'activate' just about anything; from explosives to anthrax. I'm thinking more humour than malicious purposes though.


Just cut off the legs and cauterize the wounds so they shut and don't bleed. Duct-tape the mouth shut. Cut off tail. Trust me, I can fit a small puppy into an envelope (it will budge out of course, but who cares).

Sounds like you have prior experience.

Hmm...

[Moonbat]

Sounds like you have prior experience.

Hmm...

Hey, we all have to have a hobby besides hacking. :D

I blame nobody for my dementedness, so that makes me a bit different from all the other nutcases in the world.

[Ezekiel]

Hey, we all have to have a hobby besides hacking. :D

I blame nobody for my dementedness, so that makes me a bit different from all the other nutcases in the world.

Well, I hope for your sake that all this has just happened inside your head and you haven't had prior experience of de-limbing puppies...

[Moonbat]

I'm gonna leave this on a cliffhanger note to keep you guessing :D

And the only reason I would ever do that is if by some random chance I had a neighbor who had like 12 rotwieler puppies who would never shut up barking or stop pooping on our lawn and driveway, and then when you tell the neighbor the neighbor wouldn't care to control her puppies. Only THEN, would I ever do such a thing.

[Ezekiel]

I'm gonna leave this on a cliffhanger note to keep you guessing :D

And the only reason I would ever do that is if by some random chance I had a neighbor who had like 12 rotwieler puppies who would never shut up barking or stop pooping on our lawn and driveway, and then when you tell the neighbor the neighbor wouldn't care to control her puppies. Only THEN, would I ever do such a thing.

Just so you know, I hate people who are cruel to animals.

Watch your back, Matthew.

[JayT]

Ever get annoying junk mail from banks (e.g. "do you want a loan?")? Well, gather up all the other unwanted shit you've received in the mail, add some heavy objects to the pile (coins, perhaps), then put it all in the prepaid reply envelope they usually give you. Send it back to them.

Many people have done that before (I don't claim invention), but it should sufficiently piss them off to end your daily influx of loan offers.

Ah, here's where I last heard of this:

http://bash.org/?127039

I think Maddox covered this as well.

Just be creative, and we can beat the spam problem both on the internet and in real life!




The only email I get from banks is phishing scams. Most of the time involving the Bank of America. Sometimes 2 or 3 in a day! Same identical email - tracing to different IP numbers scattered across the globe. I have never done business with that bank, so they can close my account for not validating my account data if they want.
LOL

[Moonbat]

Just so you know, I hate people who are cruel to animals.

Watch your back, Matthew.

I <3 people with values. They're so funny! :P

[Ezekiel]

Would you still be laughing if your body was dismembered and stuffed inside a massive envelope? I see a severe lack of empathy.

They say the first stage of becoming a psychopath is animal cruelty, and this more than qualifies. Enjoy your future.

I mean, I break the law regularly (well, mostly the laws I disagree with), but I don't go around chopping up animals for fuck's sake. I went through a stage where I'd be willing to commit fraud and other enjoyable activities, but I eventually grew out of that. Victimless crime is still a pastime however.

I think I'm being trolled, though.

[JayT]

Would you still be laughing if your body was dismembered and stuffed inside a massive envelope? I see a severe lack of empathy.

They say the first stage of becoming a psychopath is animal cruelty, and this more than qualifies. Enjoy your future.

I mean, I break the law regularly (well, mostly the laws I disagree with), but I don't go around chopping up animals for fuck's sake. I went through a stage where I'd be willing to commit fraud and other enjoyable activities, but I eventually grew out of that. Victimless crime is still a pastime however.

I think I'm being trolled, though.


We have 2 cats, a rat, a puppy and a ball python (and several mice for Monty the Python's occasional snacks).

I don't particularly like the way my nephews rejoice when the snake eats a mouse. Although it's natural for snakes to eat mice, I don't take pleasure in watching it like they do. If they were in the poor mouse's place, I don't think they would find it so entertaining.

All my life I've never lived anywhere without at least one house pet. A home without a cat isn't complete.



Cook and eat a troll. You'll feel better and they are low in cholesterol!
LOL

P.S.
The rat is a pet. If the snake eats him, I'll tie it in a knot!


:)

[Moonbat]

Would you still be laughing if your body was dismembered and stuffed inside a massive envelope? I see a severe lack of empathy.

They say the first stage of becoming a psychopath is animal cruelty, and this more than qualifies. Enjoy your future.

I mean, I break the law regularly (well, mostly the laws I disagree with), but I don't go around chopping up animals for fuck's sake. I went through a stage where I'd be willing to commit fraud and other enjoyable activities, but I eventually grew out of that. Victimless crime is still a pastime however.

I think I'm being trolled, though.

I see that you are a bit raged. Yippe for me!

I'm serious though, I don't cut up animals. I only like pre-dead ones, like cDc.

[gordo]

lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrophilia

[SyntaXmasteR]

Necrophilia, a contagious disease that spreads by lack of female attention.

[Moonbat]

I am not a necrophiliac. I just like dead animals.

Google up the Cult of the Dead Cow. You'll see what I mean.

[JayT]

I am not a necrophiliac. I just like dead animals.

Google up the Cult of the Dead Cow. You'll see what I mean.




The origin of the term Necrophilia

Original research by Dr. JayT, PhDuhhh, Proctologist to the Stars
'Never judge anything until you've seen the hole of it.'

Necrophilia, also called thanatophilia and necrolagnia, is a paraphilia characterized by a sexual attraction to corpses.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrophilia


ILLUSTRATION
Her Royal Highness Princess Necrophilia
Of That Other Royal Family
http://www.neoprogrammics.com/images/Princess_Necrophilia.jpg

The name of this common syndrome derives from that infamous torrid Royal love triangle that nearly toppled two governments. It all started when it was publicly exposed in the Times a few years ago, that the consort (husband) of Princess Necrophilia, a famous psychiatrist, could only make love to her when he imagined she was dead. In his mind, the horror of her actually being a living creature was beyond other horrors - all comprehension - greater than the fear of death itself.

It was one of those royal/noble marriages agreed to beyond the grave - I mean - before the birth of their children.

In olden days it was called the Ugly Wife Syndrome - Caused by wives so ugly it could trigger a disease that drove desperate men into the arms of corpses.

Believe me, if you'r a girl, and someone says you look like the wife of a necrophiliac, it no compliment - Unless you're Morticia Addams.

Let's face it, who wouldn't rather French-kiss the Grim Reaper than make love to her - and live to remember it!?



If you think she's gorgeous, you should see her sister Princess Agonia - Brrrr. Oh dear!

[PRINCESS AGONIA]
No picture available. Some creatures just don't register on camera and she's one of them! Oy! Even the most advanced technology has its finite limits.



I love dead animals too. I eat them almost every day. Just about everyone does. KFC is one of my favourites. I ate the partially cooked menstrual discharge of a barnyard bird and crispy fried slices of a dead pig for breakfast. I love dead fish and dead turkey, pig and cow sandwiches too and bits and pieces of all sorts of dead farm animals and ocean creatures. I eat lots of dead plants too. In fact I've eaten lots of living things too. Apples, peaches, pears, melons, etc. Plants are like chickens, pigeons, ducks and especially turkeys - they are so stupid, they don't deserve to live! Next to them, an ostrich is a super-genius!

If we didn't eat billions of those farm animals every single year, can you imagine it after 10 years if everyone stopped eating meat?

Meat would overrun the world and WE would become the meat!

Imagine a billion chickens and hundreds of millions of angry cattle attacking New York City and other major cities worldwide! Chickens would be everywhere. Cows, pigs in the streets. A home where the deer and the antelope play - in your den! All the animals we didn't eat would have to go somewhere. They would soon outnumber every person on earth 100 to one. They would then one day rise up together and eat us! We all know how smart really they are. You've seen the tricks they can do on TV! All they need is organization and a shrewd, greedy lawyer. One day a leader will arise among them and from that day, when that uppity farm critter and that lawyer meet ... beware!

It will be like the planet of the apes - but chickens and cattle will be the dominant species and we will be their prey.

Some people today actually eat live bugs and fish and other living creatures.
Some people today eat cats and dogs that we would make pets of instead.

But, I'm not one of them!
Yet.

Hey, it's almost Halloween too!
Tis the season to be Morbid!

Shouldn't be taken too seriously - I hope.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.
I'm a vegetarian because I HATE plants!

Back to the 'home', before they pass out the meds and find me missing.

:)



If at first you don't succeed, next time use real bullets, ya dam fool!





The REAL Princess Necrophilia
http://studiotreasure.com/alice/
http://studiotreasure.com/alice/images/UglyDuchess_Massys_big.jpg



.

[Chisa]

Ever get annoying junk mail from banks (e.g. "do you want a loan?")? Well, gather up all the other unwanted shit you've received in the mail, add some heavy objects to the pile (coins, perhaps), then put it all in the prepaid reply envelope they usually give you. Send it back to them.



I wouldn't do this, personally. Spam snail mail keeps the cost of postage low. If everyone stopped sending loan offers and pizza coupons, I'd have to pay far more to send a letter to my grandmother.

Spam email, on the other hand, costs time (and money if you happen to be someone who, for example, pays by the minute/hour for internet service), and has no benefit for me.

[Ezekiel]

I was literally like this when scrolling through this thread:

o_O

I found it hilarious, strange, and disappointing [that I fed a troll].

That is all.


I wouldn't do this, personally. Spam snail mail keeps the cost of postage low. If everyone stopped sending loan offers and pizza coupons, I'd have to pay far more to send a letter to my grandmother.

I'd rather shove the spam back in their face, even if it raises postage costs. I didn't give them permission to send me their crap, so I'll refuse just for the principle of it.

Sort of relevant:

If I pay for something, it should be ad-free. If I don't pay for something, it should be ad-supported. That is how it should be.

Why is it, then, that we get a load of advertisements in newspapers and magazines that we have paid for? Why do we get stupid ads on television when we've paid a ridiculous amount every month for the privilege? I mean, radio is free, and that has ads (justifiably).

The reason is simple: because nobody bothers to complain. They just accept it.

This is why I barely ever watch TV, download ad-free TV shows (that aren't total shit) for free and get most of my news from alternative sources.


Spam email, on the other hand, costs time (and money if you happen to be someone who, for example, pays by the minute/hour for internet service), and has no benefit for me.

Broadband is so cheap these days; I don't know why anyone would choose dial-up.

[Chisa]

Broadband is so cheap these days; I don't know why anyone would choose dial-up.

Well, some areas of the US can't get broadband because they're too far from a city, and that's the only reason I included the statement. I am, happily, not one of those unfortunate souls.

[Moonbat]

Sooner or later mail will be obsolete (it isn't in my POV) but I think e-mail and other forms of electronic communication will be used more and more to the point that physical mail will become almost unused. Just my opinion, but I don't want that to happen.

The people that are 'used' to real physical mail are slowly dying off. In 30-40 years, I predict, phyiscal mail will be obsolete.