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Why are you still posting in this forum mike? Has it become a habit?
I honestly don't know. I've dropped out of all other areas of the internet, and my membership of this forum will eventually cease.
I have way too many problems and obligations to piss away my time with crap on the internet.
Like, you know:
[LIST][*]Coordinating drug-withdrawals with the arrival of an alternative in up to two months.
[*]Having to fake a prescription just to get a safer drug.
[*]Trying to get a job (then getting rejected, due to me not being a corporate robot and being perceived as "arrogant").
[*]Trying to achieve in school when you have to re-learn everything when the next assignment is due because of your drug's amnestic effects.
[*]Not remembering much of the last seven weeks.
[*]Facing withdrawals whenever you haven't dosed in a while.
[*]Lying to everyone you know.
[*]Feeling psychotic at times.
[*]Knowing you could be in the *0&#*7; that get permanent protracted withdrawal symptoms indefinitely (a month, a year, perhaps a lifetime).
[*]Having to live like this for many more months, if everything works perfectly.
[*]Having to manage everything yourself, including calculating and drawing up your own withdrawal plan.
[*]Having to try to appear normal 24/7.
[*]Having a total inability to achieve anything without said drug, then when on it things aren't exactly normal.
[*]Having to balance all this with general life obligations, like school.
[*]On this great new medication, having to monitor everything you eat, drink, swallow or inhale, and not being able indulge in many drugs any more (this I can handle).[/LIST]
Yeah, stuff like that.
Oh, you have an addictive personality? [I](If that personality type even exists..)[/I]
No, I have more than enough willpower. I have tried opiates and other highly-addictive substances, yet not become addicted (or used my willpower to prevent it). I could tell other stories to prove strong-willpower.
I am addicted to this drug because it alleviates the symptoms of an underlying psychological problem I have, and makes life bearable.
When I first started experimenting with drugs (perhaps about a year ago with DXM), I set myself a rule of "Don't do one drug more than once per week". I have rarely, if ever, broken this rule.
The only exceptions are weed (not harmful when used regularly, even though I don't), perhaps alcohol in small amounts, and benzos (due to their short-term necessity in my life right now).
Yeah, smart readers, I'm addicted to benzos.
So no, I'm not an idiot without any morals, willpower or backbone who is addicted to a drug just because it gives euphoric feelings. Sometimes people use them just to cope with life, so try not to be judgemental.
Would you choose drug-abstinence over about 5 years of hell in your life?