Dealing With Competition From Other Men
I can remember breaking up with long-term girlfriends
in years past, and feeling an empty, fearful, LONELY
combination of emotions in my gut that was HORRIBLE.
That ALONE is enough to cause a lot of problems.
Add to that not knowing where to start, what to
do, or how to "get your game back" if you had it in
the past and you usually get a bad situation.
I've learned that knowing how to go out anytime
and meet women has a couple of MAJOR benefits when
it comes to this area:
*) When you know that you can meet women anytime you
want, it makes you stop acting so NEEDY and CLINGY
in a relationship. Most needy and clingy Wuss behavior
is rooted in the FEAR that you'll never be able to
find another woman.
2) When it comes to ENDING a relationship, this skill
makes things MUCH easier. Too many guys stay in relationships
that are bad for them, and are afraid to END a relationship
because of that deeply-rooted insecurity that comes
from not knowing how to walk out the door anytime,
anywhere and meet women. When you know how to do this,
you won't try to hold on like a girly-man, sacrifice
your own respect and dignity pleading and begging,
and ultimately make the situation much worse than
it would have been if you would have just walked away.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that I think
understanding this area called "How to attract women"
is a KEY to having a good relationship.
When you have that inner confidence and KNOWING,
it makes you more attractive, period.
Now let's talk about what to do about competition
from other guys...
First I want to talk about what I believe is at
the ROOT of the problem:
*) INSECURITY.
2) JEALOUSY.
When you are insecure, you're always wondering
if some other guy is going to come along and steal
your girl.
This often shows up as a combination of feelings
that make you worry about losing your girl, and at
the same time worrying about not being able to find
another one if you DO lose this one.
This is a BAD, BAD thing, because it then CLOUDS
YOUR THINKING, and creates an illusion that the woman
you're with is BETTER than she is, and that you're
WORSE than you are.
We're talking about some deep issues here, but
this is the stuff that triggers the ULTIMATE WUSS
types of behaviors.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, you go out
with your girl, and other guys start hitting on her
right in front of you.
This triggers MORE insecurity, and then the REAL
problem... JEALOUSY.
Jealousy is an incredibly powerful emotion.
It often leads people to KILL people they love.
One scientist wrote an entire book about Jealousy,
and basically claimed that it was the most powerful
and important emotion ever! (The book is called "The
Dangerous Passion" by Buss)
When you're out with your girl, you turn around
to order a drink, and when you turn BACK around there's
some guy talking to her with that "I'd love to take
you home and do things that the lord forbids", it
can trigger a few emotions...
This is very natural. Animals have this same response
in similar situations. I personally believe that we
come pre-wired with BOTH of these things:
-We come pre-wired to want women that other men already
have (Don't covet thy neighbor's wife).
-We come pre-wired to feel jealousy if we suspect
that our spouse is cheating, or if we think that someone
is going to take them from us.
Again, normal and natural stuff.
If Yoda were here, he'd probably say:
"Jealousy is useless...
...Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to INSECURE
WUSSY BEHAVIOR... and insecure Wussy behavior leads
to the DARK SIDE."
Now, jealousy doesn't always lead to insecure WUSSY
behavior, sometimes it leads to insecure DUMB ASS
behavior, like getting into a fight, or shooting someone.
Some men enjoy fights and violence.
And some women have no problem dating a man who
likes to beat other men up (or beat her up).
I personally think that violence and hurting other
people is the IGNORANT way to deal with things.
But I also know that there are a lot of guys out
there that don't share my views. To each his own.
The POINT I'm trying to make is that insecurity
and jealousy make people do all kinds of stupid and
thoughtless things.
These emotions take over your mind and body, and
can trigger some of the most short-sighted behaviors
you'll ever experience.
These are complex emotions that have evolved over
millions and millions of years... and they're not
going away anytime soon. In many cases, they literally
take control of your mind and body.
For instance...
Let's say you've just broken up with your girlfriend
or wife, and it took you a long time to finally get
a date with an attractive woman. Maybe you were feeling
insecure, and didn't know if you could meet another
woman, and let's say that the breakup was hard on
you as well.
Let's say you're out at a bar with your new date,
and you excuse yourself to use the boy's room... and
when you get back, there are TWO big, handsome guys
talking to your date, and she's laughing hysterically
at what they're saying.
What would most guys do in this situation?
THEY'D FREAK. That's what.
All kinds of fear, jealousy, insecurity, etc. would
INSTANTLY take over, and there would be thoughts of
her wanting to be with these guys, them taking her
away, etc.
And what do most guys actually DO in one of these
situations?
They walk over, act nervous, and try to take the
girl away from the situation. And they make the mistake
of making it OBVIOUS that they're all freaked out,
intimidated, jealous, and insecure.
This, of course, only makes the other guys feel
more powerful, and makes the woman realize that she's
with an insecure WUSS.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, in most
cases.
As a side note: I have met and know of guys who
actually ENJOY picking up women who are out with other
guys. It's a game to them.
And they've found that it's EASY, because most
men are insecure, and most women don't want to be
with a WUSS...
So what's the answer here?
What's the best thing to do when a guy is making
his move on your girl?
Well let's start from a little BEFORE that.
The best thing you can do in one of these situations
is what you do BEFORE it ever happens... and it's
a combination of things:
*) Realize that there's nothing to be insecure and
jealous about, and that these things only lead to
fear and loss.
2) Get your game in shape with women. Get yourself
to the point where you can meet women in ANY situation,
this way you always know DEEP DOWN that if any woman
you're with ever decides to leave, you can turn around
and start meeting women. This eliminates insecurity.
*) Mentally prepare. Take some time to imagine that
you're in one of these situations, and notice the
feelings you have. Go over it in your mind until you
can think about it without having any negative
emotions triggered.
And here's what to do when you're actually IN the
situation...
*) EXPECT IT. If you start dating hot women, other
men will hit on them, GUARANTEED. It's part of life,
man. You must expect that it's going to happen, and
not be surprised when it does.
2) Learn how to have FUN with it. Most guys have no
game at all... and it's kind of funny to watch and
listen to them. I enjoy watching guys try to meet
women, because they FAIL miserably in most cases.
I like to wait until a guy is finished trying to pick
up on the girl I'm with, and then get her to share
the details so I can laugh.
*) S***est that she date the guy. One of my favorite
things to do is say "Hey, you guys would make a cute
couple... I think you should go for him." Of course,
this is all said in a light, fun way.
4) If you suspect that the girl you're with is actually
TRYING to make you jealous, talk to other women. If
you actually think that a woman is deliberately trying
to make you jealous, you must do some thinking as well.
Some women enjoy making men compete over them, and
you probably don't want to be with one of these women.
They're a pain. But if you think it's just a typical
situation and the girl is trying to figure out if
you "really" like her (because you'll get jealous if
you do), then just turn around and start a conversation
with a group of girls... and wait for her to come and
find you.
The point I'm making is that you MUST get over
that fear/insecurity/jealousy issue, and realize that
there is nothing to be afraid of.
The only power that other guys will have with your
date is the power that you GIVE them... so don't give
them any power by acting like a WUSS. Keep your power
for yourself. The main reason that other guys try
to hit on your girl is because they don't have one
themselves. Remember that.
...and if you're reading this right now and thinking
to yourself "You know, I need to learn this stuff
about how to meet and attract women so I can get rid
of that insecure and fearful feeling I have", then
YOU'RE RIGHT!
I think that every man should invest in himself,
and learn this skill.
Unfortunately, most guys never take the time and
invest in themselves... and they wind up going their
whole lives WISHING that they could attract the kinds
of women that they want.
Well, I used to be one of the guys who didn't know
what he was doing with women. Now I'm one of the guys
who can go out anytime, in any situation and attract
women.
What's the difference?
I TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN.
PS I also know how to hack computers and know that sometimes its a little more than breaking technology, its called social engineering.... look into it if you want or get a life!
You guys are so fucken retarded...
All of you that offered s***estions to those people who said "my girlfriend left me help me hack bla bla bla" are fucken liars, and you should feel stupid for typing s***estions that have to do with talking to the "girlfriend" and shit...All the guy wants is more accounts for his yahoo/msn booter, I came here cuz I'm looking for some to, your probably asking yourself "hmm, why doesnt he just make a whole bunch of accounts and shit" well, yahoo monitors new joiners and if they see a multitude of users joining from the same IP theyre gonna suspect a bot is in use, but if you hack accounts you can use them as drones and yahoo will remain stupified...So dont waste your time on these loosers who make up stories about their g/f's cuz its all bullshit...If you know how to use a cracker, help us all out and tell us how instead of trying to sell your shitty scam service...
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