Moonbat's Guide to Getting a Job

[Ezekiel]

I'm probably getting an interview for a supermarket job soon (my first real job). Let's see if I meet your requirements:

*. Have a slight knowledge on the position

Yup.

2. BS your way through the interview, making yourself sound important/useful

I think an orangutan would be overqualified for my chosen position.

I mean, to work the checkouts and stack shelves you need:

• Motor control of your arms, legs and hands.
• More than ten brain cells.

I'm taking A-levels in physics, computer studies, ICT and maths. Most of the people working there are either career minimum-wage employees or school dropouts.

Why I'm going to work there; I don't know.

*. Throw in a tip on how the company could save ***** by doing (x)

"Your lemonade tastes like shit. Add more sugar, then increase the price.".

Still, I have the feeling they aren't going to hire me. On the application form they ask questions to ensure that you are a "team player" and that the supermarket is your number one priority; your only loyalty.

If a higher-ranking employee says something incorrect, do you:

A) Wait until later, then discuss the matter with him.
B) Keep your mouth shut, since what the boss says is always right.
C) Tell him right there that you disagree with him, then if he blatantly disregards your words, inform him of his idiocy.

In order to work there, I'll have to sell my soul and bow to the system.

Do they really expect me to give a shit about their supermarket, ********s or other employees? Do they expect me to respect the opinion of someone just because their badge says "manager"? Expect me to be a robot that never shows any emotion?

For minimum wage (if I'm lucky, since I'm *6), I'm really treating this whole episode as a humorous adventure. I'll show up at the interview wearing jeans and a hoodie and just be myself. Not going to hold back on anything.

If they don't like me, I will storm out with a rant on the subject of child-exploitation then look elsewhere for work. If they hire me, I'll be the same throughout my employment (however long it lasts).