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Thread: Welcome to the Internet, I'll be your guide.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,649

    Welcome to the Internet, I'll be your guide.

    So, you found us, eh? We applaud you for being able to plug in a few cords and flip the on switch on your computer.

    Get real. We don't want you here. You have no idea what you are doing and will proceed to get trojaned/virused/adbombed/totally trolled and raged and complain to anyone who is unfortunate enough to read a post or article written by you. But luckily you have a guide. I'm not the only guide, there are tons of others willing to help you. But I just decided to waste my life writing this so you won't get into any predicaments. Now, let's get down to busniess.

    Some laws of the Internet and life in general:
    -LURK MOAR

    I cannot stress the number of times people have gotten themselves into sticky situations because they didn't bother to see what the community in a certain site was like. Get to know who is respected, who are the leaders, rules, etc. Don't go in without being informed.

    -Don't open up random files and links. Do your research.

    -If you thought of it, so have a million other people. 'Original' really means that you were the first one to bother putting any time and energy into it.

    -So, you like a certain thing, right? Please do not waste the server space of any web host, free or paid, to make a fan site for it because I guarantee that there are enough of them.

    -CAPS LOCK: GREAT FOR ANGERING OTHERS, SUCKS FOR EVERYTHING ELSE

    -If you are a sensitive person, and you happen to be black, Jewish, gay, or [insert other made-fun-of attribute here], prepare to get offended.

    -You thought mommy and daddy criticized you too much? Prepare for a little something I call 'user feedback' which can come in the form of comments, forum replys, and emails/chats. People can and will speak their mind, and tell you how they really feel.

    -*0&#*7; of the time, people will never admit they lost an argument. They will either keep arguing their deluded views, or they will stop talking to you. For more information on this, please see [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride]pride[/url]

    -Rule *4 and Rule *5. You will learn this soon enough. Asking about what it is will alert everyone that you are an Internet newbie.

    We interrupt this guide to bring up a special point, called the More Effort Principle.

    This principle states that if one wishes to start something, one must put in more effort than the others. This is obvious but people don't seem to catch on. If you want to start a club, group, cult, religion, band, or anything else, you must put in more effort, time, and energy than any of the other members. Expecting others to work harder than you will result in failiure. I have firsthand experience in this.

    Anyway, this is my two cents on the issue of new guys and the Internet. Feel free to add to the advice.
    Last edited by Moonbat; 02-07-2008 at 09:18 PM. Reason: Added new advice
    "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." -Karl Marx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    140
    advice huh?..hmm.. ok Do not talk about /b
    Yes..i do wear a grey hat... and don't plan on changing to white or black..

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