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Thread: I missed this place
10-17-2008, 01:57 PM #1
I missed this place
The last year has been the worst of my life, but also perhaps the best. I definitely learnt more about myself than you can imagine and solved quite a few problems.
I've had an anxiety problem most of my life, probably a cross of social and general anxiety disorder. I got into drugs last summer, and found benzodiazepines really helpful with my problems. Benzos basically make you feel drunk, are addictive and erase your memory, so I don't remember much since August '06 - March '08.
During this time I did too many drugs to name; ketamine being my favourite (of which I imported quite a bit).
At some point I realised I didn't remember a damn thing from school so started withdrawal. [URL="http://www.benzo.org.uk/FAQ1.1.htm#8"]Read about the hellishness of benzo withdrawal online[/URL] if you're interested, but as an example an ex-friend of mine had 3 seizures, bit off part of his tongue and broke his ribs on withdrawals.
Mine lasted quite a few months and my parents found out in the end. Again I don't remember much, but I started seeing a psychiatrist and got prescribed a few meds -- currently on escitalopram which is working nicely for the anxiety I have to say.
I failed school and am currently re-taking my A-levels at college. The meds didn't work for a while so I still self-medicated, but now I'm clean.
So today my remaining stash of drugs got stolen and I'm undecided whether to leave it all forever or use occasionally at parties. I don't know, but the main problem is solved anyhow.
The boredom kicked in and I realised I have no real interests any more except chemical happiness. I used to enjoy programming/hacking quite a bit, so here I am! I'm not so anti-world these days, so it will probably be a lot more productive than the shenanigans I used to get up to... Admittedly I don't remember all that much about the scene, but I think I'll pick it up again.
One more thing: I've found that if you keep something a secret, no matter what you think, it usually isn't a good thing. My real name is Daniel, I live in England and if you want to meet me, I'll probably say yes.
I will probably change my username on here, and my new MSN is dan2034 (at) hotmail.co.uk.
So, sup guys.
Edit: what is this "user notifications" crap? If I wanted a Facebook, I'd log into Facebook!
Also, I'm looking to perhaps start up my website again when I get paid in a few weeks.
Last edited by Ezekiel; 10-17-2008 at 03:56 PM.Who needs drugs when you have electrons?