My girlfriend has been acting very suspicious lately and I have a feeling she is doing something shady on the Internet while I am gone. She and I share a wireless connection in our apartment through my router. I was wondering what would be the best way to obtain her passwords. She uses AOL which she leaves open and connected, but she can tell when someone has been on her computer by any changes in the files. Additionally, she has several accounts to various web sites that she does not leave open that I am concerned about. So, I cannot go onto her computer and physically look through files. Furthermore, she is quite careful about removing anything that would put up a red flag. I tried using Net Spy Pro so I could do everything remotely, however, her computer was able to detect the program so I had to remove it.
Since we share a connection I thought there would be a way I could get the information I needed without having to physically go onto her computer. I have heard about sniffer programs, but I haven't really found anything that would work.
In addition to getting the passwords is there a way I can view her instant messaging she does in AOL through the router. The instant messaging would be nice to capture but also any video from her web cam. Her web cam is used only when I am not around, which is extremely suspicious.
I know about the program Cain &Abel and I am currently trying to use it; however, I have run into difficulty setting it up.
What is the best program (or programs) to use for this situation?

I would greatly appreciate any help! Thanks!