I missed this place

[Ezekiel]

The last year has been the worst of my life, but also perhaps the best. I definitely learnt more about myself than you can imagine and solved quite a few problems.

(TL;DR warning!)

I've had an anxiety problem most of my life, probably a cross of social and general anxiety disorder. I got into drugs last summer, and found benzodiazepines really helpful with my problems. Benzos basically make you feel drunk, are addictive and erase your memory, so I don't remember much since August '06 - March '08.

During this time I did too many drugs to name; ketamine being my favourite (of which I imported quite a bit).

At some point I realised I didn't remember a damn thing from school so started withdrawal. [URL="http://www.benzo.org.uk/FAQ*.*.htm#8"]Read about the hellishness of benzo withdrawal online[/URL] if you're interested, but as an example an ex-friend of mine had * seizures, bit off part of his tongue and broke his ribs on withdrawals.

Mine lasted quite a few months and my parents found out in the end. Again I don't remember much, but I started seeing a psychiatrist and got prescribed a few meds -- currently on escitalopram which is working nicely for the anxiety I have to say.

I failed school and am currently re-taking my A-levels at college. The meds didn't work for a while so I still self-medicated, but now I'm clean.

So today my remaining stash of drugs got stolen and I'm undecided whether to leave it all forever or use occasionally at parties. I don't know, but the main problem is solved anyhow.

The boredom kicked in and I realised I have no real interests any more except chemical happiness. I used to enjoy programming/hacking quite a bit, so here I am! I'm not so anti-world these days, so it will probably be a lot more productive than the shenanigans I used to get up to... Admittedly I don't remember all that much about the scene, but I think I'll pick it up again.

One more thing: I've found that if you keep something a secret, no matter what you think, it usually isn't a good thing. My real name is Daniel, I live in England and if you want to meet me, I'll probably say yes.

I will probably change my username on here, and my new MSN is dan20*4 (at) hotmail.co.uk.

So, sup guys.

Edit: what is this "user notifications" crap? If I wanted a Facebook, I'd log into Facebook!

Also, I'm looking to perhaps start up my website again when I get paid in a few weeks.

[Moonbat]

It's been a long time dude, welcome back.

First off, ditch the chems. If you're gonna do something, don't do anything that doesn't grow naturally. Don't even do those wierd drugs in parties.

Anyways, I guess you wanna know what's new with the forums. The spam problem is pretty much gone. We got a new moderator, gordo. I started becoming heavily involved in PHP. If anything, you could say PHP is my drug of choice. The tutorials in the Programming section of the forum will prove that. As for 'user notifications', well, that's what you get when you upgrade to vBulletin *.7.x

If you are trying to get back into the scene, start with a little skiddie stuff first. Trying to go from almost-nothing back into hardcore stuff willl be counterproductive. Personally, I have deviated away from the scene to pursue programming. I plan on going back into some web hacking soon, because I have a good ******y of PHP. But I'll have to learn a good deal of C++ before I get into the scene for real.

So yeah, welcome back, and I hope you stick around

[Ezekiel]

First off, ditch the chems. If you're gonna do something, don't do anything that doesn't grow naturally. Don't even do those wierd drugs in parties.

When it comes down to it, a chemical compound with pharmacological properties is the same thing whether it's derived from plant material or synthesised. A lot of mushrooms grow naturally; some make you trip and others destroy your liver.

I appreciate what you're saying though -- I need to lay off the chems. I'll try .

I started becoming heavily involved in PHP. If anything, you could say PHP is my drug of choice.

Cool, PHP is an awesome language I have to say. We should work together again when I restart the site.

So yeah, welcome back, and I hope you stick around

I think I will -- the last year has taught me that I like pissing around on the internet with like-minded people a lot more than trying to be someone I'm not.

Nice to know the bat has stuck around. Who else is still here that I'd know of?

[Ezekiel]

Also, why is a guy called 'maniac' a mod? He has one post!

[Moonbat]

I think maniac is one of the staff in the actual company running this site. I PM'ed him a long time ago, but I don't have the conversation anymore.

As for anyone you remember, I think gordo and I are the only ones. JayT hasn't come on since May. SyntaX hasn't come on since July. DANIEL2488 has posted a few times in September, but he hasn't been on since September *7. So yeah, it's just me, gordo, and the one-post users that come and go.

[gordo]

This placed missed you Mike*5*.And so did I. Your posts are one of main reasons I started hanging around here.